bamberbabe

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 18:53:38 GMT

Well LJ today is my last day here in georgia. I am so excited to see my Grandparents and my Brother AHHHHHHH.... i cant wait. I miss them so much i cant believe i have been here sence May,27th that is Amazing lol. There is one reasoni dont wont to go.... ill miss my new friends :( but hopefully ill be back soon. Maybe next summer. well my grandparents are on there way so i got to go. I love you LJ and ill miss you soooooooooooo..... much.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 20:51:16 GMT

I called my grandmother today and she told me something i wish i would have never hurd.
My step dad Richard is leaving because he cant put up with my mom anymore.
This really sucks because he was the only part of my mom that i felt loved me.If he leaves i dont know what im going to do. It hurts to know that the only person i could talk to and tell what was going on in my life was leaving. I dont know how im going to handle that. I thought he was the only dad i could ever have and love.
I dont wont him to go. If he leaves who am i going to tell all my problems to and get a adult answer. I remember when him and my mom got married. I was 7. My mom was so happy and seeing her that was made me feel so good. I dont wont him to go. He was always the one that took up for me when me and my mom got into arguments. He always made me laugh.
I dont wont him to go Ill miss him way to much. He is the only persont hat gets my inside jokes. I cant stop crying. I keep thinking what is going to happen when he leaves.
I cant take this. It hurts way to much. WHY.......i dont wont him to go. My heart hurts so bad right now. Im going to be going from a house of 7 to a house of 3. Thats a big difference. I cant explain how i feel. All i can do is cry becasue its not like i can make him change his mind.
I dont know why hes leaving i guess because he cant get along with my mom.Sometimes i feel like all this stuff thats going on at home is my fault,but then again i know its not.I dont wont him to go. I know ive said that like 5 times but i dont know what its going to be like when he leaves and i dont wont to find out.I hate this... I wish i would have never of called my grandmother.. then just then i wouldnt have to worry about all of this and i could still be happy.
This is something im going to be thinking about untile i go home. Will i walk into the house and see my dad or will there just be an empty room where my brothers use to be.Will i be going back to someone i could talk to or will i have to keep everything to myself.I dont know what to think and i sont know if i should worry. If he leaves im lossing apart of me that really mattered. Me and my dad where so close i cant even explain how close and now he might be leaving.Well im going to go.
I hope i go home to dad.

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 03:16:13 GMT

I cant believe my mom hasnt called me.
i have been down here sence i think march 27th and my mom hasn tcalle dme at all ive called her but she hasnt called me i mena even my brother has called me but no she hasnt even picked up the phone. I dont think she knows how bad tat hurts me.
I miss her and everything but i dont htink she misses me. I cry when i think about this it killes me. Anyway i got to go love ya LJ peace

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 03:02:59 GMT

this is what i wrote to chris....

I LOVE YOU..... I cant tell you how much i will miss you. There are no words to describe how i feel for you except the words I LOVE YOU. I cry every time i say to myself i leave Saturday. I know what your thinking what are we going to do well..... there is only one thing to do i don't wont it but its the only thing we can do.
but not until i leave please we can still be friends but i don't wont to have to call you friend until i leave. Chris, i know the last few days have been weird its just that it finally hit me I'm leaving and i don't know if I'm ever coming back. I did what Stacie told me not to do I got to attached and now i have let go. but i'm not going to let go of you until i get home i cant let go until i get there because ill know ill probably never be back and all i have to worry about is how are my friends back in Georgia. YES Chris im going to cry but the tears are worth it because i will know its because of you. I know this is stupid but i dont care. I have had the best summer ever and if i could do this again i would. If my aunt asked me if i wonted to come back my bags would be packed. I will miss you soooo... much when i leave and ill think about you all the time don't worry like i said you cant get over someone that fast its impossible. Ill see you wendsday I love you
Amber

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 13:17:01 GMT

Theres a song that inside of my soul its the one that ive tried to write over and over again im awake in the inffinite cold but u sing to me over and over and over again so i lay my head back down.... and i lift my hands and pray to be only yours i pray to be only yours i kno now ur my only hope!!!! Sing to me the song of the stars of ur galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again when it feels like my dreams are so far sing to me of the plans that you had for me over again so i lay my head back down and i lift my hands and pray to be only yours i pray to be only yours i kno now your my only hope! i give you my desinity im giving you all of me i want your symponhy singing in all that i am at the top of my lungs im giving it up.. so i lay my head back down...... and i lift my hands and pray... to be only yours i pray to be only yours i pray to be only yours i kno now your my only hope!

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 14:46:54 GMT

Hey LJ this week had been soooooo confusing . I really hope it gets better . I am going home soon im excited but then again im not like I said I dont wont to leave all the people I met and I dont wont to leave CHRIS.

I have a feeling im gonna cry when I have to leave and im not ready for that but I dont know. Im just so confused right now. Ive enjoyed being here sooo much and I dont ever wont to go. If my parents would let me id move down here.

lol I do miss them to thought and I miss all my friends in alabama. I guess this is one of those things that god gave me to enjoy while im here. Well LJ im out peace :)

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 03:50:10 GMT

Today it hit me I have to go back to Alabama in a few weeks and it killes me to know that i have to go.

I have me so many people down here I even met a guy his name is Chris.I know im not in love or anything but I really do like him. Hes one of the sweetes guys ive met in a long time.Even though im not in love it killes me to know there is a guy down here i like and i dont wont to go home. This summer has been the best summer ive everhad. A few days ago i was saying how i wonted to go home and now that the time id getting closer for me to go im sooooo sad. Ive made alot of friends and i even found a guy i like. but i know this is just one of those things im going to have to dea with and it kills me. well im gonna go. peace out LJ.

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 03:40:45 GMT

*NAME: Amber Rolling
*AGE: 14
*BIRTHDAY: November 4, 1990
*SCHOOL: Hayden High school
*LOCATION: Alabama
*COLOR OF EYES: Brown
*HAIR: brown
*HEIGHT: 5'9
*SHOE SIZE: 9in a half
*BROTHERS SISTERS: i have 4 brothers
*WHO LIVES WITH YOU: my mom dad and brothers
*WHEN IS YOUR BEDTIME: umm i have to be in bed at 9 but i can go to sleep when ever
*WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR: CLOWNS

------------------HAVE YOU EVER-----------------

*EVER BEEN SO DRUNK YOU BLACK OUT: NOPE
*MISSED SCHOOL BUS: yes like almost everday
*PUT A BODY PART
ON FIRE FOR AMUSEMENT: well i hope not
*CAR ACCIDENT:i dont drie
*BEEN HURT EMOTIONALLY: yes more than i can say
*KEPT A SECRET FROM EVERYONE: yes
*HAD AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: well DUH
*CRIED DURING A MOVIE: yes
*HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER? no all my teachers are old and UGLY
*EVER THOUGHT AN ANIMATED CHARACTER WAS HOT: no
*HAD A NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK TAPE: no
*BEEN ON STAGE: no
*CUT YOUR HAIR: yeah
*BEEN SARCASTIC: almost all the time i dont think i can name a time i wasnt

--------------------FAVORITES------------------

*SHAMPOO: i like anythink that will clean my hair and make it smell good im not pickie
*SOAP: dove
*COLOR: PURPLE AND BLACK
*DAY/NIGHT: night
*SUMMER/WINTER: summer
*CARTOON CHARACTER: SPONGEBOB
*FAVESALAD: THE ONES YOU EAT
*FAVE MOVIE: raise your voice
*FAV. SUBJECT: math
*FAVE PERSON TO TALK TO ONLINE: my friend sarah

--------------RIGHT
NOW------------------

*WEARING: white shirt with pink tank top under and blue jeans
*HAIR IS: DOWN
*IM FEELING: like i wont to talk to chris

*EATING: nothing
*DRINKING: nothing
*WATCHING: nothing
------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------

*CRIED: yes
*WORN A SKIRT: no
*MET SOMEONE NEW: yes
*CLEANED YOUR ROOM: yeah i think i cleaned it this morning
*DROVE A CAR: no im 14

---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------

*YOURSELF: im here arnt i
*YOUR FRIENDS: yeah
*SANTA CLAUSE: no not really
*TOOTH FAIRY: you bet
*ANGELS: YES
*GHOSTS: sorda kinda
*UFO'S: nope

------------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------

*DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND: YES I DO
*LIKE ANYONE: YES AND HIS NAME IS CHRIS SAWYER AND HE IS MY BOYFRIEND
*WHO HAVE YOU KNOWN THE LONGEST OF YOUR FRIENDS: Sarah
*THE LOUDEST: Kayla
*WHO'S THE QUIETEST: i dont have quit friends
*WHO DO YOU CRY WITh: i cry with all my friends because there all that close to me
*THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: knowing i have god in my life i dont think it could get much better than that

*WORST FEELING: knowing i have to go back home to alabama soon and not get to see chris again (im crying now)

Now you all fill it out, copy it, and paste it into a comment for me. Come on! You know you want to!! It won't take long.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 20:55:10 GMT

well LJ today has been boring. Thants all i got.

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 02:46:03 GMT

Hello my LJ people well today me and stacie went shopping for FOOD thats right food lol and you know it was really fun. We got all the cheap stuff. lol. then after that we cleaned out the fridge and man was that a doosie but we made it really cool looking everything is in order. so it was worth it. Then when we got done cleaning that we went to red lobster.Man i had so much fun today and to think just going shopping and cleaning the fridge would be so much freaken fun. I dont really wont to go home Stacie and i have become so close this summer and somethimes just a little to close lol matbe to the point where we want to kill each other. Well I had fun but I got to go peace out.NOW WHERE GOING TO TAKE PICS COOL. LOL WELL BYE.

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 03:21:05 GMT

WOW.....This summer i have learned alot. i have learned not to put up with peoples crap. Ive learned that it can really hurt someone when you talk about them. ive learned to stand up for what you think is right and to be outgoing and not care about what people think.

There is so much more where that came from but the one thing ive learned the most was never fall to much in love because you never know he might not be "the one" and if hes not then theres a reason.

life can suck if you let it but it can be the best time of your life if you jut let go.

Let go of the ones you love becausse if they really love you thell come back.

quotes

1. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.

2. It takes a couple seconds to say Hello, but forever to say Goodbye.

3. You don't die from a broken heart - you only wish you did.

4. Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there.

5. If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.

6.Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

7. Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

8. Love is always open arms. If you close your arms around love you will find that you are left holding only yourself.

9. Love means never having to say you're sorry.

10. For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.'

11. Nothing hurts more than realising he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

12. I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was.

13. There's this place in me where your finger prints still rest... your kisses still linger and your whispers softly echo... It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.

14. I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too oftern, and a little more each day.

15. Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.

16. They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

well thats all i got but i really have enjoed this summer and i really dont think id change it for anthing even thought alot of stuff has happened i still love it here in georgia and when i go back home to alabama this will be the one summer ill allways remember. I LOVE YOU ~AMBER

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 00:13:50 GMT

ok how do you put pics in when you update something??? Its makeing me mad because i dont know how.

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 21:06:14 GMT

well today i havent really had anyone to talk but its no big dill im about to go to church so this isnt going to be long at all. well thats all i got to say peace. :)

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 23:54:53 GMT

I know that thing was stupid its just I hear people complain about the mistakes they have made and the stuff thet regret.

Well, we where made to make mistakes and to reget stuff heck we where made to regret the mistakes we've made.

i really dont know what to say and i dont think im suppost to know what to say i guess your suppost to figure that out on youre own, but i do know if you do need something god is always there ask him.

well im going to go before i make myself sound any more stupid lol. peace

another one of those days

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 23:47:01 GMT

another one of those days

Today is just another one of those days.
Its another day to see the same things over and over again.
Another day to feel the pain you felt the day before.
Another day to hurt the way you have never hurt.
Another moment to wish you could go back and undo the things you've done.
Another breath to breath in and think to your self why am i still here.
Another life that only you wish you had,but still today is just another one of those days and no matter what those things youve done can not be erased.

So will to day just be another one of those days that youll regrett in the future or will you be glad you made that day worth while. please think about it. I know people hurt and I know people cry but people do get over things so what ever your day is I hope the next one goes better.

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 22:53:30 GMT

I cant stop thinking about this Josh dude. Its driving me crazy.Today I was here almost all day by myself and I could think about was man I wish Josh would call and ask me to go somewhere with him, but I know thats not going to happen. I like him alot.My uncle like's him, I think my cousin like's him,but I know my aunt doesnt like him verry well. She keeps telling me not to like him hes weird and stuff like that but i don't think he is.

I really do like him but I dont think im going to get to see him before I go back home and I hate that. I feel like just calling him and asking him to do something now that would really make my day, but see the thing is I dont think he likes me. I just really wont a guy to talk to and I know what your thinking your only 14 you have alot of days ahead of you well you know what I do I have pleanty but today is just one of those many. I just really wont to hang out with a guy before i go home. I havent hade a botfriend in a long time.I miss it.

Anyways there isnt much to say I just wrote because I cant stop thinking about josh and its driving me crazy. I wont to talk to him soooo bad but I dont think i can. ohh there is this dude hes like 21 his name is like nathen or something but me and my cousin have been hanging out with him hes really cool except the fact he drinks way to much and hes to old.I was talking to him and he said he was trying to find me a guy my age I could hang out with.i think thats really nice of him,but im not shoure if I shoul trust the person he picks for me lol kidding. Well, I got to go me and Stacie are going to waffle house with Markie.Peace.

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 17:45:22 GMT

Ok its 1:37 and i just woke up i feel really sick i dont know whata wrong. I really wish i had someone my age to hang out with so i dont have to be up Stacies but all the time.Manly i wish i could hang out with a guy my age like josh lol that would be cool.Man i feel like crap. Well im gonna go.

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 19:46:48 GMT

there is nothing to do so i thought id write. well last night me and stacie went out we went to some mexican chinese i have no idea but Marki and two other people where there and we hung out with them and we had alot of fun then everyone left and me and stacie stayed later with this tall dude talking to him about what happened that night and then we lef it was alot of fun but now there is nothing to do so im gonna go.

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 18:01:36 GMT

Hello people today was good i sleep late and im felling alot better my hands are still herting but i guess thats a part of what happens when you play slaps and bloodie nuckels with guys lol but yeah i did have fun my cousin stacie is going out with a friend i dont know if i am going or not but hopefully that would be cool but if i dont it dosent really matter. but im gald she is having fun. i got to talk to my best friend last night i was so happy to talk to her. i also got to talk to my dad i havent taked to him sence May 26 wich is pretty bad i missed him so i called him when i thought he wouldnt be at work. My brother Chris got his licences and he got a job my brother Erik is in tennessee with his girlfriend and her family Adam is in Texas with his best friend Josh (he is hot) and my little brother is at home so i dont guess he has done much this summer. i have had so much fun down here in georgia but i havent been home to alabama sece May 27 and i miss being there but i donr really wont to go home because ther is a guy her named Josh i really like and i have made alot of friends down here. im just having alot of fun but i know im going to have to go home soon but not to soon. well i got to go ttyl. peace :)

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 01:28:49 GMT

hey people i cant type fast because my hands are hurting i just got back from my trip with the youth and it was so much fun and the reason my hands hurt is because i was playing slaps and bloddie nuckels on the bus home and i was playing with like 3 guys lets see there was Chris B. and Chris S. and Jonithin and the first game i played was bloodie nuckles with jonithin and i lost because i almost broke my nuckel and then i played slaps with Chris B. and we played two times and i won both but then i played slapps with Chris S. and GOSH i thought he broke my hand that kid hits hard but it was really fun even though my hands are hurting really bad and my nuckels are swolen and my hand is really brosed.

Any way the Big Stuf trip was so much fun i cried so much it was amazing. i met alot of really cool people and i got to learn about alot of things that have happend to people and it was amazing because it makes you think and realize your not the only person with problems. This BIG STUF camp was a really cool place it really got to me and the message that got to me that i heard was the message tittles "ITS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU" and its not so yeah this trip was AMAZING well im gonna go i hope all your dads had a good fathers day i dont know if mine did r not because i didnt get to talk to him i was so upset about that but hopefully i can call him later well i love you guys peace : )

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:03:19 GMT

I am felling better. but i really am nervous about tomarrow gosh i dont know any people that r going besides my cousin her boyfriend and his sister well i dont really know here but i do talk to her on the computer sometimes i am getting good at typing without looking at the key board lol anyway its not perfect but its getting better anyway i was bored so i thought id write so peace

worst day of my life.....

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:54:52 GMT

Today started out good. I went shopping with my cousin and we had fun then i got dizzy and now i have a really bad head ach then when we came home i imed my best friend Sarah on her cell well i asked her what all she did this summer she said "Amber please dont get upset." i said "ok" well i did get upset i got verry upset because she told me that my friend Katie wasnt doing to good. I asked her why and she told me because her dad had died a few days ago, and hearing that tore my heart out katie would tell me everything and when her dad was diegnosted with cancer i was the first person she told. Katie has been there for me through everything and knowing that made me wont to be there for her but i cant because she is in alabama and im here in georgia. Im leaving for a trip tomarrow with the church and hearing this is going to screw up the trip for me. I promised her before school was out if anything happened i wonted her to call me well the worst thing has happened and all i can do is sit here and cry for her. well im gonna go. i love yall thaks for reading this.

lol funny

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 23:45:04 GMT

hey people today has been really good me and my uncle just got into a really funny fight it invalved butterlol yes i said BUTTER i got it al over my face anyway i thought id share it with you. well peace

bored

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 16:46:49 GMT

i am so bored i was one the computer all day yesterday well actually 8 hours straight i was that bored. i dont know what to do i miss home but i dont wont to go home at all. i was talking to this girl yesterday and she made me thnk about life she came to me and asked for help she wonted to kill herself and i didnt know what to say to her. it scared me because she was really unhappy all i could tell her was not to do it but i dont know if that was good enough. im really scared for her i didnt go to bed until 2:30 last night because i was so afraid because what if she did kill heerself i could of talked her out of it or could i have. well thats one of my worried i miss home but i dont wont o go back but i would like to have a big conversation with my mom and dad but i dont because if i do talk to them it will make me miss them more.well i gonna go(i love you stacie b/c i know you are one of the people reading this)pease ;)

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 16:32:05 GMT

Hey people i am so bored i dont feel good and i think im gonna be sick so as you can tell so fare my day hasent gone so good. well i thought id write pease.